Oh shoot.

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Today I had almost died. If I had gone a second later or had not reacted to go faster, I would have been long gone from a car crash. Thank God that I am okay and alive. It's true that when you are close to facing death, your life flashes before your eyes and in that moment, the only thing that I said to myself or had thought of was: "Oh shoot." Oh shoot as in, it's only four more days until I have officially lived 19 years; I'm still so young. Oh shoot as in there are so many things that I still want to do in life. Oh shoot as in, God please have mercy on me for the things I have done and oh shoot, as in I haven't expressed enough love to my family and close friends while I was still alive in this world.

Straight after, I was in shock and I'm still in shock while writing this, but after today's extremely close incident, something sparked within me and now I really understand why time is so precious. Nonetheless, the concepts are simple, we are not guaranteed the length of time in this world and we could never ever go back in time to fix things in the past. As scary as it sounds, all that we are guaranteed with are the present time and ultimately, death which can come at any stage in life, young or old. Therefore the best time to change and become a better person or to make a difference in the world or to work towards a goal is now. It is better to have tried and failed than to have not started at all. One of my favourite all time quote which is by John Lewis is: 'If not now, then when?' (In my other words: when will you get off your butt to do what you have promised to do?)

And because I have experienced a near death situation and also because it is my birthday in a couple of days, here are reasons why I am grateful for the life I have now and the goals that I would like to achieve in the hopeful years to come (with a total of nineteen reasons and goals).

I have gratitude for...

  1. God's guidance with everything I do

  2. My loving parents

  3. My younger brothers (although they can be little shits at times) and the rest of my extended family

  4. My beautiful friends

  5. Having had experienced true love

  6. The good memories and experiences

  7. Simple things that make me smile

  8. Living in New Zealand

  9. Chocolate

  10. My education

  11. Opportunities that have been given to me

  12. Teachers who believed in me or had supported me

  13. Tramping trips that I have done

  14. Places that I have travelled

Things I dream about:

  1. Becoming a successful doctor

  2. Having an anthology or book published

  3. Helping young girls grow into beautiful and strong women

  4. Travelling the world

  5. Volunteering overseas

I'm curious to see if, in three or five years time, I will have the same gratitudes and goals. Maybe I'm almost living my dreams, even better yet, maybe those dreams are a reality for me then. Nonetheless, I find life interesting, in the sense of how and why things work out the way they do or did. But to be honest, I just want to live a life with meaning. Overall, I just want to get my point across that life is too short, so do what you gotta do.

Now it is your turn, what are you grateful for and what do you want to achieve in life?